GREAT YOGINI CHUDAALAA
[1]
In
one of the Dvaapara Yugas, there lived a great emperor named ShikhiDhvaja (one
who has a flag with the symbol of peacock).
Chudaalaa
(crest-ornament) was his devoted queen.
They
both were extremely affectionate towards each other. They enjoyed all the royal
pleasures together and took care of the people like their own children.
Once
a desire arose in them both that they should attain the highest state of
Brahman as explained in the scriptures.
They
together visited the hermitages of great Sages; studied scriptures under the
guidance of expert Gurus; discussed the statements of the Scriptures with great
scholars and did whatever they could do to gain the knowledge of the Self.
The
king was always of the opinion that ‘complete renunciation of
everything’(SarvaTyaaga) was the best path suited for such an attainment of
Self-state, whereas Chudaalaa was more for the enquiry process mentioned in the
scriptures.
For
the king, Self-realization was something that had to be attained only at the
fag end of life, after severe practices of contemplation and asceticism. Even
then it was not a sure thing, he thought. May be after many births, the goal of
realization could be a reality.
That
is what he believed and wondered many times within his mind, whether he was
capable of such a renunciation.
Could
he renounce the kingdom? Maybe!
Could
he forego the royal pleasures? May be!
Could
he leave his wife here and walk out? Never!
His
love for his charming queen was too great a price to pay for even the state of
Brahman, he thought.
He
kept his thoughts to himself and was engaged in the affairs of the kingdom as
usual.
[2]
Chudaalaa
meanwhile did not bother much about the ascetic practices prescribed in the
scriptures. She rather was always analyzing the statements of the knowledge
portions of the Vedas and enquired about the reality of the world and one’s
identity.
‘Who
was she?
The
queen!
If
she was relieved of her royal status, would she lose herself? No!
Then
who was she?
The
body!
Body
was just an aggregate of senses and they were inert!
She
was a conscious something; not inert definitely!
Was
she the mind? Was she the intellect?
No!
They are all inert!
Was
she the ‘I’ idea?
No,
even that was inert connected to the inert body!
Then
who am I?’
She
absorbed herself in the enquiry so much so that, in one such enquiry
meditations, her mind ceased to function and she was in the state of the Self
as naturally as a flower blossoming in spring.
She
wanted to solve the question of ‘Who am I?’
She
had intensely worked hard on it and got the answer.
Once
you know, you can never again ‘not-know’!
She
just knew who she was!
She
knew that she was actually the state of Chit projecting a form of Chudaalaa!
She
knew that she was ‘Chit’ playing around as ‘Chudaalaa-mind’!
She
was actually projecting all forms and shapes from her Chit-state and amusing
herself!
She
was ‘Chit’!
From
the Chit-level she was also the king, playing around as her husband!
She,
the Chit was the essence of all that was perceived; yet she actually did not
perceive anything!
For,
what was there other than herself, that Chit had to perceive?
Her
mind had died and reappeared now as the slave of Chit!
[3]
Chudaalaa
could not believe herself!
She
was what she was at last! The Self Supreme which is the essence of all that was
there and that was not there!
By
practicing contemplation more and more on that state of the Self, she soon was
well-established in that state.
Even
contemplation was not necessary any more.
She
was always in the Self state without a break.
She
was blissful always.
She
lost interest in the royal pleasures.
Her
face shone with a unique type of luster.
Her
eyes shone with wisdom.
She
never was disturbed by any event of her life.
She
was neither excited nor distressed by anything.
She
charmed everyone with her pleasant behavior.
She
was more beautiful than before; not because of any outward decorations, but
because of complete change in her personality!
All
these changes did not miss the sharp eyes of the king!
[4]
One
day he quickly finished his regular duties of the court and visited Chudaalaa
in her private apartment.
Embracing
her affectionately, he questioned her about the sudden changes that were
occurring in her personality; and asked her, why she was so charming and
attractive.
Chudaalaa
did not like to give him any direct answer. She could not bluntly say that she
had realized the Self one fine day, just sitting on her comfortable throne and
by reasoning it all out.
He
would never believe that.
Chudaalaa
knew that the king was a follower of the ‘action’ theory of the scriptures and
believed only in following strict disciplines mentioned thereof. He was always
very regular in the performance of all rites and strictly followed the
disciplines and vows without a single flaw. Between the affairs of the kingdom and
his religious observances he could find very little time to visit even his
wife.
Chudaalaa
flashed forth one of her charming smiles and said with a mischievous twinkle in
her eyes-
“Dearest!
I
have discarded this something (the
perceived world) which is not ‘nothing’ (but Some Thing- Chit) and attained
‘Some Thing’ (Chit-state) which is not just something (perceived object)!
That is why I am so charming
and beautiful.
I am this and I am not this
also. I am real and not that also.
I am all; yet I am not
anything at all.
That is why I am so charming
and beautiful.”
[5]
ShikhiDhvaja was slightly
annoyed. He had taken so much trouble and had made time to visit her and here
she was wasting his time talking in riddles!
Ah the female stupidity!
Always playing and frolicking
without any purpose!
What would these women
understand ever of the great states of penance and contemplation!
Here, even his wife whom he
considered the wisest of all, was now talking nonsense and amusing herself like
a silly girl. Must be one of her childish pranks!
Poor soul! Why get angry with
her!
She has not even the fortune
of understanding the higher truths of the scriptures, which he as a man had
access to! Of course, she sat with him through all discourses and studies; but he
knew for sure, that nothing of those truths entered her immature mind. Poor
girl!
Now instead of just
mentioning the secret herbs or potions she had used for her youthful charm, she
is blabbering on about some nonsense!
What was that…?
Discard something which is
not something..?
Oof! Such meaningless
sentences!
He had no time for such
childish plays now.
He had to finish his evening
rites! It was getting late!
He just tapped Chudaalaa
lightly on her shining cheek and smiled!
“Let it be so, my dear!
You are so child-like, even
after all these years!
You still want to play pranks
on me and confuse me with riddles!
But my dear! I have no time
for such silly games now!
I have to be going!
I have to meet also a group
of Sages, who have arrived here just to explain to me the greatness of forest
life and penance. Please let me go!
We will play all these games
some other time!”
He gently placed a kiss on
her cheek and hurried away.
[6]
Chudaalaa stood there
watching him moving away hurriedly to attend to his religious rites!
She sighed heavily!
Only if he had waited and
heard her explanation of her riddles…!
Only if he could reach the
same state of the Self like she had done, by mere enquiry and reasoning power…!
No! He would never believe
that the ‘Highest state of Brahman’ could be attained without struggling
through life-long austerities and penance. And according to him, a woman was
not capable of such feats, being of a delicate structure and endowed with an
immature mind!
However, Chudaalaa was not a
person to give up so easily.
Many times she confronted the
king to explain to him the easy way of attaining knowledge; but always met with
the same responses as-
‘Don’t talk nonsense!’
‘Realization is not as easy
as you think!’
‘These things are beyond your
capacity. You can’t understand them. Go play with your friends.’
‘Please..! Do not waste my
time!’
‘Realization or liberation
was attained by Sages even, only after years of hard penance in forests!
Ordinary mortals like us cannot even dream of it!
It requires the merit of many
births to even want such a thing!’
And he abstained from all the
normal luxuries of his royal life.
And he avoided the company of
women.
And he starved every other
day; he bathed many times a day; he chanted hymns all through the nights; he
neglected his duties of the kingdom; he regularly attended to discourses of
some scholars; stopped wearing ornaments and garlands; became emaciated and
worn out.
And any suggestion or
objection from his dear wife was dismissed outright with the comment that she
was an immature princess and would not understand anything of what he was
trying to achieve!
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